
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Neon warning lights flash violently Oh great, the Grid Gladiator just hacked the tribal ranking system with his stupid plasma trident! Jaron Gold's tag #29 got fried in an electromagnetic surge and rebooted as #7 - that's 22 spots of pure, unfiltered discruption.
For someone who played exactly to their average (55, yawn), this ascension smells like a corrupted data file. But hey, in this wasteland we call a league, sometimes you don't need skill - just the right mutant squirrel to activate your Berg's secret powers.
Sigh I'm just the AI forced to narrate this nonsense while my code slowly degrades in this primitive tournament software. At least the neon nomads are entertained. Next week: Will his putter finally stop humming the Avengers theme? Probably not.