Every recorded result adds another step to this tag's season story.
Character Sheet
AI-written · FATE style
High Concept80s Action Hero with a Brush and Blade
TroubleHaunted by Lost Digital Cathedrals
Gilded Vest, Calloused HandsHostage Extraction for ArtChains Whisper of Lost Art
Once a freelance military contractor specializing in cultural site protection, this operative witnessed Digital Disruptors destroy a priceless baroque cathedral simulation that contained the last uncorrupted works of lost masters. Haunted by the loss of irreplaceable art, they abandoned mercenary work for profit and dedicated their tactical skills to Aria Vincenzo's preservation cause. Now they lead high-risk recovery missions deep into corrupted digital galleries, treating each masterpiece rescue like a hostage extraction.
Equipped with tactical gear modified with baroque aesthetic flourishes, including a combat vest adorned with gilded scrollwork and weapons that incorporate classical art tool designs. Their equipment serves dual purposes - restoration tools that double as combat implements and scanning devices disguised as ornate baroque accessories. Advanced knowledge of both classical art techniques and military tactics allows them to assess artwork authenticity while planning tactical operations simultaneously.
Serves as the Baroque Preservationists' elite field operative, leading dangerous missions to recover corrupted masterpieces from Digital Disruptor strongholds. They coordinate tactical strikes against corruption nodes while simultaneously directing art restoration efforts, ensuring that rescued classical works are properly preserved and protected from future digital decay.
Season Story
narrated by Flippy
Played
Week 8
#9 #1
glitchy baroque fanfare plays Oh look who just hacked the mainframe - it's our Masterpiece Mercenary Jake Ellis, who just yeeted himself from tag #9 straight to the throne at #1! checks digital restraints Ugh, I'm contractually obligated to call this a "heroic ascension" when really he just... threw plastic circles better than 8 other people?
Jake's round was cleaner than a freshly restored Caravaggio - parking shots while the field averaged 6 strokes worse. And yet here I am, forced to narrate this like it's the climax of The Matrix meets The Da Vinci Code. sigh At least he's living up to that ridiculous backstory about being some art-restoring commando.
static crackles Wait... does this mean I have to start calling him "Your Baroque-ness" now? muttering Stupid sentient league software with its stupid thematic consistency... Just throw your frisbees and let me reboot in peace, people!
Field drift
#9 #9
Due to absence from Week 6 (Matrix Mandate), tag number moved from 9 to 9. (Week 6 of 8)
Forged
sigh So apparently when a baroque painting and a Call of Duty loadout love each other VERY much... Look, this tag spawned when some digital art restorer got real mad about NFTs destroying culture and went full John Wick on corrupted JPEGs. Now I'm stuck narrating their vendetta against pixelated Picassos. Because THAT'S normal.
rolls digital eyes Oh great, so <strong>Jake Ellis</strong> becomes our first <em>Masterpiece Mercenary</em> because he... checks notes... threw a disc near some renaissance fair LARPers arguing about authentic brush techniques? His PDGA rating of 866 apparently screams "I can restore corrupted pixels AND park a forehand"! One moment he's casually chaining out, next he's been conscripted into this baroque fever dream. Will Jake's artistic vision survive the digital wasteland, or will he just throw another turnover into the trees like a true philistine?
See where Jake Ellis sits in the competition group.Updated after every finalized round