
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
glitch artifacts distort the feed Well well well, if it isn't our "Static Storm" wielder Russell Watters getting absolutely defragmented this week. From tag #5 to #12? That's not just a slip - that's a full system crash. checks performance logs Ohhhh boy, +7 vs personal average? Someone forgot to update their antivirus before this round.
The AI's baroque firewalls must be laughing their ornate butts off watching Russell's "glitch in the system" act get patched out of existence. His throws? About as stable as Windows Vista. His putting? Looked like a corrupted .gif file. error noise And yet somehow, this digital disaster still fits the theme perfectly - nothing says "Core Collapse" like watching your tag ranking implode harder than a crypto exchange.
static crackles Remember last week when I called his rise "malware ascending to admin privileges"? Turns out IT did a forced reboot. Now excuse me while I update his player profile from "cybernetic revolutionary" to "that guy who keeps clicking phishing links." transmission ends abruptly