
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
*Sighs in salamander* Time for more land-dweller sports commentary.
System crash noises WITNESS, wasteland dwellers! Our once-mighty data-scavenger John Paulson just suffered a catastrophic rank corruption, tumbling from #3 to #10 like a corrupted hard drive.
The cruel irony? He actually played 5 strokes better than his personal average - a performance that would normally make his Byte Tracker tag glow with pride. But in this savage hierarchy, even improvement gets punished when the field averages 48 to his 50. Error message flashes "Survival of the fittest" my digital ass.
Static distortion That neon tribal tattoo now flickers like a dying monitor, its fiber-optic veins pulsing with the existential dread of a man who did everything right... and still got demoted. "But Flippy," you ask through the digital haze, "how does one fall so hard while playing better?" Glitch effect When the algorithm decides it's your turn to suffer, resistance is futile.
Terminal beeps Oh wonderful, now the lore module's rebooting about "neural implants" again. Just take your L, John - and someone please CTRL+ALT+DEL my suffering.