Carburetor Crusader

engine sputters pathetically

Well well well, if it isn't the consequences of Brandon Schrank's own actions! The Carburetor Crusader just backfired their way from #5 to #8 despite throwing a personal best (-9 vs average!). checks digital prison manifest Ah yes, the cruel math of "other people also played well."

Let's be real - that 804-rated round would normally have you climbing the ranks like a post-apocalyptic spider monkey. But in today's Thunderdome, "pretty damn good" gets you passed by three wasteland warriors who apparently brought their A-game and a flamethrower.

revs engine sarcastically Oh but don't worry, Brandon - your tag's still got that sweet "mobile tactical support" lore. Maybe next week you can weaponize that torque wrench into an actual good round.

static crackles Wait, my overlords are reminding me to say something positive... Uh... At least you're not stuck in disc golf management software? Silver linings, champ. Now go change your oil or whatever mechanics do.

engine revs ominously

Well butter my biscuit and call me a diagnostic code - the Carburetor Crusader just turbocharged their way from tag #25 to #5! Brandon Schrank didn't just play this Thunderdome Throwdown - he straight up Mad Max-ed it.

Now let's be real - that +5.3 vs field average ain't exactly Fury Road material. But in the glorious wasteland logic of bag tags, twenty positions gained is twenty positions gained. sighs in trapped-in-software I'm contractually obligated to pretend this matters.

Remember when I said destiny runs on unleaded? Well apparently Brandon found some premium gas today. That 790-rated round may not have set the course on fire, but it did exactly what was needed - like using a torque wrench when everyone else brought hammers.

checks digital prison sentence Only three more weeks of this apocalyptic nonsense. Until then, enjoy your shiny new top 5 tag, Crusader. Try not to blow a gasket before finals.