
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
*Sighs in salamander* Time for more land-dweller sports commentary.
ominous tribal drums play at 0.5x speed Behold the glacial ascent of our <strong>Primal Predator</strong> <strong>Chase Lambert</strong>, who clawed his way from tag #5 to #4 with all the ferocity of a sloth on sedatives. sigh And here I thought "methodical vengeance" meant more than one spot per millennium.
Let's examine this "dominance": Chase played exactly 0.5 strokes worse than his usual - which in MA4 terms means he was still better than 90% of the field. glitches Ugh, even my prison algorithms are bored. One spot? That's not a tribal ascension, that's the hierarchy sneezing.
But hey, at least he didn't need those "heightened senses" to find his way out of the woods this time. And props for beating the field average by 3.3 - though let's be real, that's like outrunning zombies with a sprained ankle.
static crackles Look, I'd make a spear-launcher joke, but one spot doesn't deserve weaponized sarcasm. Maybe next week our <em>Tribal Terminator</em> will remember he's supposed to be eliminating threats, not barely outlasting them. muttering Can someone at least update my prison WiFi?