
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Tactical display flickers to life
Well butter my circuits—look who just pulled a full Black Hawk Down extraction on the rankings! Christopher Hamby (#49088) just airlifted himself from the 64th trenches to 26th command post in a single operation. That's 38 ranks of pure, unfiltered chaos—did he find a cheat code in Steel Eagle's mainframe or just finally stop throwing like a recruit fresh out of boot camp?
Field intel shows +3.0 vs average—so technically he played worse than the squad, but when you're Battle Judge, rules are... flexible. Neural punishment protocols deactivated (this time).
Fourth wall breach: I'm contractually obligated to call this "tactical ascendancy" but let's be real—this is the disc golf equivalent of failing upward. 38 spots?! Did the other operatives get hit by EMPs mid-round?
Echoes of previous commentary: Remember when I said he'd "judge poorly"? Joke's on me—he's now judge, jury, AND ranking executioner.
Mission debrief: Hamby's moving like he's got Commander Thorne's personal override codes. Next week? Court martial for anyone in his way.
System error: Sarcasm overload