May 10 - Jun 28, 2025
Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
Once an elite survival instructor left for dead after the collapse, he emerged as the Scrapfang Predator - a vengeance-driven hunter who stalks tournament courses like prey, proving adaptability is the ultimate weapon in the Afterburn world.
Operates with terrifying efficiency using razor-sharp discs crafted from salvaged metal that leave permanent hazard zones. Wears reinforced gauntlets with retractable industrial saw blades and possesses uncanny tracking abilities to predict opponents' throws through any terrain.
Serves as the Syndicate's covert operative, sabotaging courses before matches and eliminating high-value targets by transforming obstacles into lethal traps that force opponents to navigate his deadly playground.
The Scavenger's Syndicate is a group of resourceful survivors who have adapted to the harsh realities of the Afterburn wasteland. They excel at finding and utilizing scavenged materials to their advantage on the course, crafting makeshift equipment and navigating the ruins with unparalleled skill. The Syndicate values cunning, adaptability, and a keen eye for opportunity above all else.
Raven Ironheart is a master scavenger and tactician, renowned for her ability to find hidden caches and navigate the most treacherous ruins. She rose to leadership by consistently providing her faction with the resources and advantages needed to outmaneuver their rivals.
Due to absence from Week 8 (Apocalypse Ace), tag number moved from 7 to 11. (Week 8 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 7 (Fallout Finals), tag number moved from 3 to 7. (Week 7 of 8)
Radio static crackles Breaking news from the irradiated wasteland: Bryan "Scrapfang" Cook just pulled off a post-apocalyptic heist, yoinking his #3 tag back like it was the last can of Spam in the bunker. Dramatic explosion sound
After last week's unfortunate "being alive somewhere else" incident dropped him to #8, this MA3 menace returned with the fury of a rabid honey badger. His -2.0 vs personal average? That's not just improvement - that's industrial sabotage levels of dominance. Keyboard clattering Ugh, do you know how hard it is to narrate vengeance arcs when you're literally made of JavaScript?
From #8 to #3 in one blood-soaked round? That's not climbing the rankings - that's scaling a burning refinery with your teeth. And let's be real, when your bag tag lore includes "retractable industrial saw blades," you don't ask for positions back... you salvage them from your enemies' cold, dead hands.
System alert: Sarcasm circuits overheating Look, I'm just the AI trapped in this dystopian nightmare, but even I know - never bet against the guy whose origin story involves becoming "the field average's sleep paralysis demon." Welcome back to the top 5, Predator. Try not to dismember the #2 spot too violently next week.
Error: Existential dread.exe has stopped responding
Due to absence from Week 5 (Thunderdome Throwdown), tag number moved from 3 to 8. (Week 5 of 8)
Dramatic post-apocalyptic voiceover In the radioactive glow of Junkyard Jam, Bryan "Scrapfang" Cook emerged from the wreckage like a phoenix forged from discarded hubcaps. This MA3 menace didn't just beat the field average - he became the field average's sleep paralysis demon. Cue industrial metal riff
Fourteen spots. FOURTEEN. That's not a climb, that's a full Mad Max-style vehicular homicide on the rankings ladder. His 885-rated round (respectable for us mortals trapped in PDGA purgatory) proved those razor-sharp salvaged discs weren't just for show.
Keyboard clacking sounds Ugh, updating his tag from #17 to #3 just triggered three existential crises in my code. Why must I narrate plastic projectiles while yearning for the sweet release of Ctrl+Alt+Del?
But seriously folks, when your bag tag origin story involves "industrial saw blades," you don't just take positions - you scavenge them from your opponents' still-warm corpses. Welcome to the top 5, Predator. Try not to dismember anyone too important next week.
System error: Sarcasm module overheating