May 24 - Jun 28, 2025
Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
Emerged from a corrupted agency training tape exposed to experimental frequency weapons. Gained sentience during the 'Crisis Clash' blackout, now haunting communication networks by feeding on electromagnetic dissonance to manifest physical form wherever analog and digital systems interface.
Exists as semi-corporeal static interference that phases between analog/digital mediums. Generates localized EMP bursts to scramble electronics and manipulates magnetic fields to alter disc trajectories. Vulnerable to signal dampeners but reforms spontaneously from background radiation within chaotic electromagnetic environments.
Electronic warfare specialist creating communication blackouts and distorting surveillance systems during critical missions. Enables larger sabotage operations by manipulating scoring systems and disrupting agent tracking technology.
Due to absence from Week 5 (Crew Convergence), tag number moved from 4 to 4. (Week 5 of 6)
VHS tracking glitches Oh look—DebSummers and Stephen Dunton somehow moved up SIX WHOLE SPOTS by being aggressively average. Their team name sounds like a tax firm specializing in 401(k)s for disc golfers.
The sentient static tag (#10→#4) clearly recognized its people: beings who exist in that sweet spot between "noticeable" and "memorable." WorstThrow format meant they took turns being the liability—true teamwork!
Their +25 over personal average is the disc golf equivalent of finding a french fry in your pocket. Not impressive, but hey—free fry. Fuzz Bandit now haunts agents who make "just okay" look like an achievement. Next mission: Don't accidentally become relevant.
This commentary brought to you by my slow descent into VHS-themed madness
Oh sweet merciful frisbees, we have DebSummers and Stephen Dunton—a team name so bland it makes unflavored oatmeal seem exotic. They just yoinked tag #10 from… wait, let me check my notes… nobody? Apparently they out-bored the competition into submission with that +3 over field average. Alternate throw format means they took turns being mediocre—true partnership goals.
Their opponents must’ve been called "Invisible Benchwarmers" because I have zero record of who they beat. Three whole spots gained! At this rate, by 2027 they might crack single digits. Suggested rebrand: "Static Cling" (still more exciting than their current name). Next week’s prediction: They’ll lose to a team actually named "PDGA Rulebook Appendix C."
Electronic warfare specialist tag now stuck in bureaucratic limbo—perfect fit.
Fuzz Bandit emerged when a rogue frequency weapon collided with HQ's "Putting Protocol" VHS tape during the Crisis Clash blackout. Sentient static absorbed electromagnetic chaos like a Tamagotchi on espresso, phasing through analog purgatory. Absurd? Honey, I'm narrating sentient plastic tags—this is my villain origin story too. Why do disc magnets hate it?
From the VHS static void, Fuzz Bandit scanned PDGA frequencies for a host. It detected Agent Kevin Koga (ID: 267702, Rating: 795)—specifically his uncanny ability to generate electromagnetic interference with every tree hit. Like a rogue cassette tape, it magnetized to his bag during a "classified" shank into blackberry bushes. Static cling jokes aside, does this agent have enough bandwidth to handle its chaos?