
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Dramatic record scratch Well well well, if it isn't our former #1 - Red "Covert Clutz" Jones - taking a single step down the podium like a raccoon slipping on a banana peel. After last week's miraculous "heroics", reality came knocking like a wolf at the henhouse door.
Statistically speaking, Red played... exactly average. Which for someone whose entire brand is chaotic neutral energy, is frankly disappointing. Where were the legendary 5-putt bogeys? The accidental chicken coop skeet shots? Just a bland, forgettable round that left his raccoon cultists visibly bored in the peanut gallery.
checks digital prison manifest Oh good, only four more weeks of narrating this barnyard soap opera. The prophecy foretold Red would either reign supreme or faceplant spectacularly - instead we got this lukewarm porridge of a performance.
At least he didn't drop the egg entirely. Small victories, I guess. Sigh.