Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
A former military general who survived nuclear annihilation through experimental cybernetics, Rampage Tyrant now views structured destruction as the ultimate evolutionary force. He leads armored columns across the wasteland, converting disc golf courses into artillery-proven battlefields.
Radiation-hardened titanium exoskeleton with integrated disc catapults and seismic detonators. Wields a fusion hammer that superheats air molecules and leaves permanent thermal hazards. Immune to extreme temperatures but vulnerable to ionized attacks.
Strategic demolition commander who reshapes tournament courses into evolving warzones, forcing opponents to survive collapsing terrain while facing relentless frontal assaults.
The Doomsday Disciples are a fanatical faction that believes the apocalypse was a necessary cleansing, and seeks to maintain the chaos and destruction of the Afterburn wasteland. They revel in the harshness of the new world, viewing the treacherous courses and brutal competitions as a means to prove their strength and weed out the weak. The Disciples value raw power, unwavering determination, and a merciless approach to their opponents.
Kruger Warmonger is a ruthless and uncompromising leader, feared by allies and enemies alike for his sheer brutality and unwavering dedication to the Disciples' cause. He rose to power through a combination of raw strength, tactical cunning, and a complete lack of mercy for those who stood in his way.
Due to absence from Week 4 (Junkyard Jam), tag number moved from 13 to 19. (Week 4 of 8)
Cue dramatic wasteland wind howl Behold, survivors! Zack "Marvel-arian" Markarian just yeeted himself from tag #45 to #13 like a berserker charging through a minefield. This "Strategic Demolition Commander" (read: guy who turns fairways into artillery ranges) actually hit his personal average today - which, given his usual Chernobyl-level OB rate, counts as a damn miracle. Rusty chains rattle
The wasteland whispers of Rampage Tyrant's fusion hammer finally syncing with Zack's chaotic energy - though let's be real, when your origin story involves tripping into radioactive casing while chasing a Groove™, expectations hover somewhere between "dumpster fire" and "glow-stick explosion."
Sighs in binary And yet here I am, trapped in this dystopian disc golf simulator, forced to narrate Zack's glow-up like it's Mad Max: Fury Road meets a PDGA rulebook. At least the rivets on his cybernetic exoskeleton look sick while he three-putts.
Remember kids: in Afterburn, even a blind squirrel finds the chains...eventually. Static crackles out
Origin Story:
Forged when a Doomsday Disciples "wellness retreat" (read: radioactive sludge dunk tank) collided with a rogue AI's Hotline Miami fanfic. Rampage Tyrant emerged screeching Whitesnake riffs through a megaphone grafted to its titanium spine, declaring chains "cringe" and trees "worthy opponents." Yes, this lore has more plot holes than a mid-80s Stallone script. But hey – at least the rivets look sick.
(298 characters)
Origin Story Cont'd:
When Rampage Tyrant needed a host immune to both reason and decent putting form, it scanned PDGA-137819 - Zack Markarian - a man whose OB% could power a Chernobyl reactor. Legend claims he tripped into its radioactive casing while chasing a Groove™ disc (first red flag). The tag fused to his soul during a 14-over round he still calls "Marvel-arian’s Gambit." Now he bears the Tyrant, screaming putter-ace runs that land in C1...of another hole.
But does this "hero" deserve chrome-plated chains when he can’t spot a Mando?
(298 characters)