
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
The Chronos Binder pulsed with temporal desperation after its Fracture-birth. It scanned realities for a wielder worthy of controlling its sand-trickling power—and locked onto Steven Pugmire. Why? His PDGA #104741 formed a cosmic barcode (10-47-41: "sufficient thyme for chaos"), and his 944 rating vibrated at exactly the frequency needed to stabilize interdimensional breakfast-ball mulligans. He was re-gripping a putter when it materialized in his bag whispering "rewind or regret, buddy." But seriously—can a man who misplaces car keys weekly handle time travel?