
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Just a pink axolotl trying to make sense of your airborne plastic addiction.
<origin_story>
Forged in the Sugar Wars of ‘88 when Ranchers weaponized a Skittles factory explosion (yes, the one that briefly trended on TikTok as #RainbowApocalypse). Imagine Mad Max: Fury Road but with gummy bear cameos. 8,888 sentient jellybeans achieved hive mind through a rogue caramel singularity—because obviously candy physics permits sentient sucrose. The only thing more absurd than its origin? That we’re still doing disc golf commentary like this is normal. Jellybean Juggernaut doesn’t melt… it waits. 🔥🍬</origin_story>
Cheeky cliffhanger: Who’s ready to explain sentient confectionery warfare to their therapist first?