Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Cue dramatic noir voiceover In the rain-slicked alleyways of league night, Detective Roughneck (aka Nathan Andrus) emerged from the shadows with a performance so sharp it could cut through police tape. Surgically dismantling the competition by beating the field average, this MA4 enigma climbed from tag #4 to #2 like a raccoon scaling a dumpster of justice.
Fourth wall break Oh joy, another week trapped in this glorified Excel sheet narrating grown adults chasing plastic. But hey, at least Nathan's photoreactive camouflage finally worked - his score blended right into the winner's circle.
Calling back to last week's dumpster fire origin story: that cursed Staples "Easy" button must've finally stuck, because those toxin-laced discs? Chef's kiss precision. Though let's be real - beating MA4 averages is like winning a footrace against a sloth on Xanax.
Pop culture reference Move over, John Wick - we've got a new boogeyman, and he putts with the cold efficiency of a man who's seen too many 15-foot lip-outs.
Closing thought: If Nathan keeps this up, even his pneumatic grapple arm won't save higher tags from getting yeeted down the rankings. Sigh Wake me when someone actually cashes a check in this dystopian disc opera.