Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
Born from a splinter of the First Log that taught beavers strength magic, this entity manifested when rivals threatened sacred timber. It now merges disc golf baskets with ancestral wood to enforce fair play.
Petrified heartwood core regenerates when damaged. Glowing bark patterns channel coaching wisdom. Roots can immobilize opponents and create course barriers.
Ensures fair challenges by rooting cheaters to the ground while preserving clan training secrets within its growth rings.
Due to absence from Week 2 (Chip Chow), tag number moved from 1 to 4. (Week 2 of 10)
And so Timber Sentinel chose its champion when Alex Billette accidentally aced Hagg's "Chest Day" hole while bench-pressing a grocery turkey. The Beaver Council deemed his PDGA#154141 a sacred rune - "One-Five-Four-One-FOUR-ONE" chanted by chopper-tailed monks in Lululemon loincloths. His prize? A wooden disc that whispers protein shake recipes and judges your deadlift form. Now he bears the log that bears the weight of our cringe-lore. But can this mortal handle Sentinel's bark worse than its byte? š²š» #SapientSuffering
(Was Brodinās prophecy just a glitch in the whey?)
Origin Story:
When the First Logās gym-bro spirit grew tired of mid-tier lumberjacks āhalf-reppingā their hyzers, it yeeted a splinter into existenceāTimber Sentinelāa sentient Karen of enchanted plywood. Forged in a protein-shake volcano (RIP LA Fitness), it now polices form like Thorās hammer critiquing CrossFit form on TikTok. Witness its bark-textured judgment: āSquat deeper, mortal.ā Yes, your shanked putt did anger the dendro-gymnasium. š²šŖ #NotACurseProbably
(Cliffhanger: Which Karen-approved ritual will appeaseā¦ the Splinter Court?)