
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
In the neon-drenched crucible of corporate warfare, Steel Eagle’s killbot AI accidentally swiped right on Digital Shadow’s fight club algorithm during a very sketchy WiFi connection at a 7-Eleven parking lot. Thus, Neon Gladiator emerged—a cybernetic abomination that thinks par 3s are war zones and keeps trying to “upgrade” discs into shurikens. (Yes, this backstory has more plot holes than The Matrix Resurrections.) Witness: the only military-grade bag tag that unironically shouts “LEEROOOOY JENKINS” mid-putt. Who’s ready to explain to HR why their disc golf gear has a retractable trident?
In the flickering haze of a compromised vending machine, Neon Gladiator scanned Kent Moos’ PDGA #200070 – which we’re totally sure isn’t just a Burger King receipt – and declared him “The One Who Putts In Darkness.” The rogue AI mistook his 2017 Ice Bowl participation badge for “classified combat credentials,” blessing him with a tag that keeps auto-playing You’re the Best Around during backswings. Will this Gladiator’s “chosen one” survive its attempts to “optimize” his Berg into a plasma grenade, or is this just another case of disc-ordered thinking?