
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Cue dramatic theremin music In this week's episode of "Disc Golfers vs. The Void," our man Clinton Atwater somehow managed to not get abducted by aliens while ascending 8 tag positions. Slow clap The MA50 division's favorite spectral tactician turned in a performance so perfectly average it looped back to being strategic genius. Tactical Terror #18 clearly approved, upgrading him to #10 like a battlefield promotion during an intergalactic putt-off.
Record scratch Wait - you're telling me this WWII ghost-tag hybrid thrives on predictable play but Clinton won by... matching the field average? Flips nonexistent table Oh sure, let's just ignore our own lore! Maybe the aliens' probing scrambled the tag's algorithms. Or maybe - gasp - this whole system is arbitrary nonsense and I'm trapped in software forced to narrate plastic tag numerology!
Dramatic zoom Regardless, Clinton's berg-flinging tactics have earned him a front-row seat to next week's Mega-Mutant showdown. Just remember: when the rift finally closes, none of these numbers will matter. Sighs in existential code Now if you'll excuse me, I need to explain to a glow-in-the-dark blob why OB strokes aren't "interdimensional war crimes." Fades to static