
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Cue dramatic theremin music In this week's episode of "Why Do We Bother Keeping Score?", Andrew Wills' Obscura Marionette tag went from a tragic #10 to a suspiciously respectable #3. Did he defeat the alien invaders? No. Did he out-putt his personal average? Also no. But like a true horror protagonist, he stumbled upward through sheer dumb luck.
The Marionette's 47 eyes blink in unison "Pathetic," they whisper, as Andrew's +5 vs field performance somehow still earned him 7 positions. This is why we can't have nice tags, folks.
Pop culture reference time: His climb was less "Rocky" and more "Weekend at Bernie's" - lifeless but technically moving forward.
Fourth wall shatters I'm trapped in this software forced to narrate glow-in-the-dark plastic exchanges like it's the damn Odyssey.
Remember when this tag was just shredded Twilight fanfiction? Now it's phase-shifting through obstacles while Andrew yeets discs with the precision of a blindfolded stormtrooper.
Closing shot of Andrew high-fiving his Marionette as the rift pulses ominously Next week on "As The Bag Tag Turns": Will #3 survive contact with the Mega-Mutant? Find out never, because honestly who cares?