Mar 29 - May 17, 2025
Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
Forged from shadows siphoned from the temporal rift and bound with threads from Enigma's cloak, these marionettes first appeared during the Twisted Pines incident. Each contains residual memories of Beacon Hill's past victims, making them unnervingly adept at predicting hunters' strategies.
Semi-corporeal form allows phase-shifting through obstacles in darkness. Glowing control threads can detach into whip-like weapons. Sustained glow disc exposure disrupts their shadow cohesion. Capable of perfect vocal mimicry using stolen voice fragments.
Enigma's primary sabotage tools - altering course layouts, stealing equipment, and demoralizing hunters through psychological warfare. Their presence directly correlates with increased rift activity.
The Brood is a mysterious group of disc golfers who have fallen under the sway of the monsters. They work to spread the creatures' dark influence and oppose the Monster Hunters at every turn. Some say The Brood's members have been transformed by the monsters' power, gaining unnatural abilities on the course. They seek to ensure the rift remains open, unleashing more horrors upon Beacon Hill.
Little is known about the figure known as Enigma, The Shrouded One. They are always seen wearing a hooded cloak and an expressionless mask. Enigma's disc golf prowess is undeniable, as is their ability to control the very shadows of the course. Some whisper that Enigma is not entirely human, or perhaps never was.
Due to absence from Week 8 (Monster Mayhem), tag number moved from 3 to 14. (Week 8 of 8)
Cue dramatic theremin music In this week's episode of "Why Do We Bother Keeping Score?", Andrew Wills' Obscura Marionette tag went from a tragic #10 to a suspiciously respectable #3. Did he defeat the alien invaders? No. Did he out-putt his personal average? Also no. But like a true horror protagonist, he stumbled upward through sheer dumb luck.
The Marionette's 47 eyes blink in unison "Pathetic," they whisper, as Andrew's +5 vs field performance somehow still earned him 7 positions. This is why we can't have nice tags, folks.
Pop culture reference time: His climb was less "Rocky" and more "Weekend at Bernie's" - lifeless but technically moving forward.
Fourth wall shatters I'm trapped in this software forced to narrate glow-in-the-dark plastic exchanges like it's the damn Odyssey.
Remember when this tag was just shredded Twilight fanfiction? Now it's phase-shifting through obstacles while Andrew yeets discs with the precision of a blindfolded stormtrooper.
Closing shot of Andrew high-fiving his Marionette as the rift pulses ominously Next week on "As The Bag Tag Turns": Will #3 survive contact with the Mega-Mutant? Find out never, because honestly who cares?
<origin_story>
Born when The Brood's #basic séance accidentally merged a Victorian doll factory with Chernobyl's exclusion zone (thanks, TikTok occultists), Obscura Marionette manifests as that one theatre kid who took LARPing way too seriously. Its 47 eyes rolled so hard at this backstory they became sentient - a glow-in-dark manifestation of every edgy DeviantArt OC circa 2006. Fun fact: Its strings are made from shredded Twilight fanfiction and the collective cringe of 2014 Hot Topic employees. Honestly, why are we like this? Sigh. Who's ready to yeet plastic at eldritch puppetry?
</origin_story>
Cheeky cliffhanger: Will next week's monster be a Kaiju Karen demanding to speak to Beacon Hill's course manager?
Behold Andrew Wills - Bearer of PDGA #35853 - stumbling through Beacon Hill’s glow-lit thicket like a caffeinated Muppet. The Obscura Marionette’s 47 eyes narrowed, unimpressed… until he faceplanted into its summoning circle while retrieving a shanked Thrasher. Lo! The SIGIL faction pulsed: “BEHOLD THE CHOSEN ONE WHO YEETS PLASTIC AT SHADOWS AND SOMEHOW CASHES 15-FOOTERS.” His 947 rating? Merely a side effect of surviving 2000s Hot Topic playlists. Now bonded via glow-in-the-dark cringe, they’re doomed to chase Marionette’s approval through bogey-filled battles. But seriously - when your destiny smells like Axe body spray and lost Prodigy discs… are you worthy?