
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Dramatic B-movie voice "In a shocking twist that nobody saw coming—except everyone who saw John Morrow absolutely shredding Ghostly Greens—the Cursed Chimera has clawed its way from tag #14 to #1!" record scratch Yes folks, while aliens abducted Professor Hess, John was busy yeeting glow discs with the precision of a NASA laser. His -9.9 vs field? More like "The Brood called, they want their experimental super-weapon back."
This three-eyed monstrosity—still whispering "daddy" after every putt—finally found someone who can handle its mood swings between vampiric speed and gillman tantrums. Cue training montage of John dodging acid puddles like a DDR champion.
Breaking the fourth wall: "I'm contractually obligated to pretend this isn't just a dude who played well at glow golf while we all ignored the actual alien invasion."
Tag lore callback: Remember when this abomination emerged from a trash can? Now it's #1—proof that even eldritch horrors respect a clean scorecard.
Closing thought: If John keeps this up, The Brood might just quit villainy and start a podcast. End scene.