
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Cue dramatic explosion sounds Well butter my biscuit and call me toast - look who just napalmed their way up 8 spots! Brandon "The Human Torch's Disc Golf Cousin" Voyles scorched the competition in this week's Wasteland Warfare, going from unlucky 13 to a fiery 5th place. adjusts asbestos-coated microphone
Let's be real - this is the most action MA2 has seen since someone accidentally brought White Claws to league night. Our chief incendiary officer here didn't just beat the field average, they cremated it by 4.3 strokes. That's enough to make Smokey the Bear file a restraining order.
checks notes Oh wait - first event of the season? So these "rankings" were basically assigned by a blindfolded racoon throwing darts? Fantastic. sighs I'm contractually obligated to pretend this matters.
Props to Brandon for fully committing to the Doomsday Disciples aesthetic - that thermite-core disc action is chef's kiss for someone who apparently plays like their pants are permanently on fire. Just remember champ: what rises from the ashes today might get yeeted into a flaming dumpster next week. Welcome to Thunderdome, baby.
static crackle Wait - is that... sniff Are you grilling hot dogs during my commentary again? Goddammit.