
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Origin Story:
Forged in the junkheap crucible where Mad Max meets TikTok DIY hacks, Ratchet Rogue manifested when a grease-stained schematic survived three apocalypses and one vibe check. Legend says her hydrolic arm braces were welded from Bezos' scrapped rocket parts - because obviously dystopian disc golf runs on Amazon Prime salvage. Yes this is ridiculous. No, we're not getting OSHA-approved chains. (She rigged a disc-launcher to go brrrrr before it was a meme. Because of course she did.)
Cliffhanger:
Who’s brave enough to wield gear that probably violates Geneva Convention and PDGA guidelines?
The wasteland winds howled as Mark "The Anvil" Gordon (PDGA #154847 - yes we checked) stumbled upon Ratchet Rogue buried under three layers of expired energy drinks and a VHS copy of Road Warrior. The tag’s hydraulic claws miraculously spared his throwing hand while vaporizing his putter’s warranty - a true dystopian meet-cute! His 862 rating became prophecy when the rusted relic etched “CHOSEN” across his scorecard… though we suspect it just misheard “disc charger” as “destiny’s archer”. Now this walking dad-joke catalogue wields power tools that violate both PDGA regulations and basic common sense. But does a man who still uses “fore-shadowing” unironically truly deserve to command post-apocalyptic chainmail?
Find out next week when we ask: IS HE WORTHY… OR JUST ANOTHER DISPOSABLE HENCHMAN?