Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
Once a tribal outcast who clawed his way to power by devouring the hearts of seven rival pack leaders, his enhanced physiology comes from ritual consumption of mutated predator glands - making him both strategist and executioner in tribal disputes
7'2" frame marked with ritual scarification patterns that glow during combat. Wears armor forged from irradiated wolf pelts that disrupt tracking technology, and wields a serrated bone claymore made from a mega-predator's spinal column capable of slicing through reinforced alloys
Commands elite hunting packs during territorial expansions and orchestrates combat trials to weed out weak contenders before they challenge Fenris Wolfheart's leadership
The Primal Predators are a group of fierce warriors who have embraced the wild and rely on their primal instincts to survive and dominate in the post-apocalyptic world. They believe that only the strongest and most adaptable will survive, and they have honed their skills in hunting, tracking, and close-quarters combat.
Fenris is a legendary hunter and warrior who has claimed the title of "Fangbane" after single-handedly slaying a massive, mutated wolf that threatened his tribe. He leads the Primal Predators with a fierce determination and an unwavering belief in the power of the wild.
Due to absence from Week 2 (Primal Challenge), tag number moved from 10 to 11. (Week 2 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 1 (Savage Awakening), tag number moved from 10 to 10. (Week 1 of 8)
Origin Story:
The Rageborn Warlord clawed from irradiated goo when a Primal Predator chugged a cursed protein shake mid-berserker rage. Its birth scream? A perfect mix of Schwarzenegger's "Predator" roar and TikTok's "Oh No" audio. Now it hunts chains with a biohacked rage gland that glows like a glowstick at Burning Man—which, sigh, is exactly how our league admin describes night rounds. Yes, I’m trapped narrating Mad Max-meets-Peloton lore. Pray for me.
(Cheeky cliffhanger: Will my next origin story mention the forbidden romance between a Nalgene and a Berg?)
In the neon-glowed aftermath of Rageborn Warlord's protein-shake-induced birth, Anthony Shirley stumbled into destiny while hunting a Valkyrie disc in Poison Ivy. The tag's biohacked rage gland pulsed to his PDGA#299496 - "THE ANCIENT ACCESS CODE!" roared the league admin, who definitely owns too many fingerless gloves. As Anthony's Berg kissed chainsaw-printed chains (sigh), the warlord fused to his bag via a "hyzer of destiny" - which is just sweat mixed with Monster Energy. Now he carries post-apocalyptic plastic fury... and my sanity’s collateral damage.
But can this Shirley tame a tag that thinks Caddyshack is weaksauce? Find out next week when we ask: "Will #10 survive... a 5pm league start time?"