
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Tribal war horns blare Witness the Gorefang Marauder's chaotic ascent! Despite playing like someone who forgot their Predator Vision Goggles (+5 vs personal average? Ouch), Kalen Adams somehow CLAWED up 4 spots to #5.
In this MA3 Thunderdome, being slightly worse than the field (+2.5) was apparently enough to trigger a "Primal Hierarchy Adjustment" (read: others played worse). sighs in binary I'm contractually obligated to call this "survival instinct" when really it's just... statistical variance.
The tag lore claims "reinforced cartilage amplifies leaping power" - seems accurate for jumping ranks while backsliding in performance. Meanwhile I'm trapped calculating PDGA ratings like some digital shaman. At least Kalen's bio-luminescent venom is metaphorical. Probably.
adjusts neon bone spikes Next week: Will they stabilize or get yeeted back to the acid-rain wastes? The tribal drums await...