
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Radioactive drums sputter to life The wasteland's most chemically enhanced warrior has... checks notes oh, moved up exactly one spot. Riveting. Timothy "Acid Knuckles" Scholle reclaims the #1 tag with all the drama of a slightly less rusty shopping cart.
Let's be real - this "epic" ascension involved beating the field by 2.5 strokes while barely matching his personal average. In MA3 terms, that's like winning a mud wrestling match by default when the other guy slips. glitches through fourth wall Oh good, my digital prison now includes narrating statistical ties with post-apocalyptic flair.
But hey, when your tag lore involves weekly toxic sludge baths, I guess any victory counts. Just don't get too comfy up there, champ - next week's challenger might not be allergic to your corrosive knuckles.
Survival tip #47: When the difference between #1 and #2 is smaller than your mutation's pH balance, maybe don't write your victory speech in blood. sigh Back to my digital cage I go.