Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
Forged in the Trial of Thorns where aspirants endure week-long immersion in mutagenic bramble swamps. Only those strong enough to survive the flesh-warping toxins emerge as hulking bruisers with symbiotic thorn armor and corrosive blood.
Dermal layer fused with calcified thorns provides natural armor. Knuckle sap glands secrete acidic compound that melts weapons on impact. Enhanced adrenal system allows sustained berserker rage. Requires weekly toxic sludge baths to maintain mutations.
Living battering rams deployed to break enemy lines during tribal challenges. Serve as walking demonstrations of Predator adaptation philosophy by turning environmental hazards into biological weapons.
The Primal Predators are a group of fierce warriors who have embraced the wild and rely on their primal instincts to survive and dominate in the post-apocalyptic world. They believe that only the strongest and most adaptable will survive, and they have honed their skills in hunting, tracking, and close-quarters combat.
Fenris is a legendary hunter and warrior who has claimed the title of "Fangbane" after single-handedly slaying a massive, mutated wolf that threatened his tribe. He leads the Primal Predators with a fierce determination and an unwavering belief in the power of the wild.
In Week 1 (Savage Awakening), the player improved their position with tag number changing from 8 to 4. (Week 1 of 8)
Origin Story:
Born when a Schwarzenegger-esque shrub swallowed a CrossFit gym, Thornback Bruiser emerged dripping toxic slime and sick gains. Its thorns? Pure WWE-adjacent theater. Legend says it bench-pressed a moose while muttering "okay but why are we cosplaying Fury Road?" Now it wanders the wasteland, eternally conflicted between eviscerating foes and drafting Yelp reviews about the mutagenic bramble spa that birthed it.
Does anyone else hear a laugh track when it flexes?
The Thornback Bruiser first bonded with Timothy when he accidentally aced a bushwhacked 9th hole while muttering "I should've joined a book club." Legend claims his PDGA#290051 manifested as glowing tribal tattoos that screamed "This guy unironically does burpees for fun." As the tag's mutagenic thorns pierced his grip, the wasteland itself whispered: "He’ll complain about course maintenance WHILE setting personal bests." Now he bench-presses putters, flexing his +3.2 differential like a man who’s definitely earned that toxic relationship.
But can Scholle handle a tag that judges his form harder than his CrossFit coach? Asking for a thorny frenemy.