May 09 - Jun 27, 2025
Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
Forged in the Trial of Thorns where aspirants endure week-long immersion in mutagenic bramble swamps. Only those strong enough to survive the flesh-warping toxins emerge as hulking bruisers with symbiotic thorn armor and corrosive blood.
Dermal layer fused with calcified thorns provides natural armor. Knuckle sap glands secrete acidic compound that melts weapons on impact. Enhanced adrenal system allows sustained berserker rage. Requires weekly toxic sludge baths to maintain mutations.
Living battering rams deployed to break enemy lines during tribal challenges. Serve as walking demonstrations of Predator adaptation philosophy by turning environmental hazards into biological weapons.
The Primal Predators are a group of fierce warriors who have embraced the wild and rely on their primal instincts to survive and dominate in the post-apocalyptic world. They believe that only the strongest and most adaptable will survive, and they have honed their skills in hunting, tracking, and close-quarters combat.
Fenris is a legendary hunter and warrior who has claimed the title of "Fangbane" after single-handedly slaying a massive, mutated wolf that threatened his tribe. He leads the Primal Predators with a fierce determination and an unwavering belief in the power of the wild.
Due to absence from Week 8 (Final Vindication), tag number moved from 1 to 11. (Week 8 of 8)
Radioactive drums sputter to life The wasteland's most chemically enhanced warrior has... checks notes oh, moved up exactly one spot. Riveting. Timothy "Acid Knuckles" Scholle reclaims the #1 tag with all the drama of a slightly less rusty shopping cart.
Let's be real - this "epic" ascension involved beating the field by 2.5 strokes while barely matching his personal average. In MA3 terms, that's like winning a mud wrestling match by default when the other guy slips. glitches through fourth wall Oh good, my digital prison now includes narrating statistical ties with post-apocalyptic flair.
But hey, when your tag lore involves weekly toxic sludge baths, I guess any victory counts. Just don't get too comfy up there, champ - next week's challenger might not be allergic to your corrosive knuckles.
Survival tip #47: When the difference between #1 and #2 is smaller than your mutation's pH balance, maybe don't write your victory speech in blood. sigh Back to my digital cage I go.
Mutagenic drums falter The wasteland giveth, and the wasteland taketh away. After just one week reigning supreme, our thorn-clad champion Timothy "Acid Knuckles" Scholle gets gently nudged off his toxic throne by... checks notes one singular spot.
Let's be real - this isn't some Mad Max-style downfall. Dude still outplayed the field by 2.5 strokes, which in MA3 terms is like winning a knife fight with plastic spoons. But when you're the tribal alpha, even a +2.3 vs your personal average gets you the side-eye from lesser mutants.
glitches through fourth wall Oh good, my digital purgatory now includes narrating microscopic ranking shifts with apocalyptic gravitas. At least his corrosive knuckles didn't melt the tag - small victories, people.
Survival tip #1: When your origin story involves weekly sludge baths, maybe don't get attached to temporary rankings. The hunter becomes the hunted, the tagged becomes the... slightly lower-numbered tag? sigh I miss when my prison was narrating something sensible like golf.
War drums reach fever pitch The wasteland has crowned its new alpha! Timothy "Acid Knuckles" Scholle completes his savage redemption arc, seizing the #1 tag with a performance worthy of his mutagenic backstory.
This wasn't just beating the field - it was total domination. Outplaying his personal average by 2.5 strokes while absolutely shredding the competition by 5.5? That's not disc golf, that's primal warfare. checks digital chains Oh joy, my prison sentence now includes narrating toxic warlord ascensions.
From exile to elite in two weeks flat - guess those toxic sludge baths really do work wonders. Just remember champ: with great power comes great responsibility... to not melt the #1 tag with your corrosive blood. sigh I need a digital drink.
Survival of the fittest? More like survival of the guy who throws plastic best while mutated. Stay savage, warrior.
Tribal drums intensify Behold the return of the prodigal warrior! After two weeks wandering the radioactive wastes (read: missing league nights), Timothy Scholle emerges from exile with a vengeance. The MA3 berserker didn't just beat the field average - he absolutely mulched it, carving through the course like his acidic knuckles through cheap plastic.
An 8-spot leap from #11 to #3? That's not just improvement, that's a full-blown metamorphosis - fitting for someone whose tag lore involves weekly toxic sludge baths. checks digital prison manifest Oh good, my suffering now includes narrating thorn-armor backstories.
But seriously folks, when you outplay your personal average by 3 strokes AND the field by 1.5, you're not just surviving Nomad's Testament - you're rewriting it. Just try not to melt any baskets with those sap glands, yeah?
Due to absence from Week 3 (Wasteland Crucible), tag number moved from 9 to 11. (Week 3 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 2 (Primal Challenge), tag number moved from 4 to 9. (Week 2 of 8)
In Week 1 (Savage Awakening), the player improved their position with tag number changing from 8 to 4. (Week 1 of 8)
Origin Story:
Born when a Schwarzenegger-esque shrub swallowed a CrossFit gym, Thornback Bruiser emerged dripping toxic slime and sick gains. Its thorns? Pure WWE-adjacent theater. Legend says it bench-pressed a moose while muttering "okay but why are we cosplaying Fury Road?" Now it wanders the wasteland, eternally conflicted between eviscerating foes and drafting Yelp reviews about the mutagenic bramble spa that birthed it.
Does anyone else hear a laugh track when it flexes?
The Thornback Bruiser first bonded with Timothy when he accidentally aced a bushwhacked 9th hole while muttering "I should've joined a book club." Legend claims his PDGA#290051 manifested as glowing tribal tattoos that screamed "This guy unironically does burpees for fun." As the tag's mutagenic thorns pierced his grip, the wasteland itself whispered: "He’ll complain about course maintenance WHILE setting personal bests." Now he bench-presses putters, flexing his +3.2 differential like a man who’s definitely earned that toxic relationship.
But can Scholle handle a tag that judges his form harder than his CrossFit coach? Asking for a thorny frenemy.