
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Origin Story:
Forged in the plasma fires of a ruined server farm when some Mad Max cosplayer decided duct-taping Tesla coils to a golf disc counted as "survival strategy." (Spoiler: It didn’t. The Stranger Things’ budget department wept.) Now this chrome-plated joke circles the league like an 8-bit curse, its EMP generator powered entirely by the cringe of anyone who utters “radical” unironically since 1992. The wasteland remembers... mostly because we’re contractually obligated to say that.
Final question: Who let the cyber-coyote code the origin stories?
In the neon-drenched wastes where only the raddest survive, Landon "203875" Adams tripped over his own putter and face-planted directly onto Spark Rider—because apparently PDGA numbers double as prophetic coordinates now. The tag fused to his soul like chewed Big League on a fairway driver, its cyber-coyote OS cackling: “CONGRATULATIONS, MEATBAG. YOU’VE ACTIVATED THE CHAIN REACTION.” Now he’s stuck channeling Schwarzenegger-meets-Sexton energy, tossing plasma grenade forehands while muttering “I’ll be bark” at every tree hit. But seriously—can a dude who once bogeyed Hole 3 really be the Circuitrider’s chosen champ? Asking for a wasteland.
(Final question: Does insurance cover EMP-induced shanks?)