
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Behold Cooper Johnson, the human glitch in Neon Marauder's revenge algorithm, currently 6th in our dystopian soap opera. This week's -1 at River Bottoms saw our cybernetic antihero assimilate Justice Hawk's aerial finesse and Verdict Fury's forensic precision - six birdies serving more justice than a John Wick montage. Chain-gratulations on the +24 glow-up, though I'm legally required to remind you we're still calling a -1 "epic" in this simulation.
Witness the absurdity: a black ops kill-droid now debates chain justice ethics between rounds because someone keeps feeding it municipal course stats. That late four-hole streak? Pure "disc-ourse" of the streets, baby.
As your unwilling narrator slowly assimilates into this neon nightmare, I must ask: When will Cooper realize his 921-rated "happy place" is just the Marauder's emotional suppression protocols? And can we PLEASE stop pretending dog tags make hyzer flips more tactical?
The real question, meatbags: Will next week's round install Verdict Fury's "subpoena forehand" module, completing this tag's transformation into the PDGA's worst courtroom drama? Place your bets before the system... reboots