
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Behold Rampart Echo - forged when a glitching combat sim tried to Tinder-swiped Skynet’s LinkedIn. That’s right, kids: Our sentient dog tag crawled from a Pentagon server farm’s fever dream after binge-watching Mad Max remixed with WarGames. Its “scorched titanium plates”? Literally just a military contractor’s failed BBQ drone prototype. The neural ports? USB-C jacks spray-painted to look ~tactical~. I’m contractually obligated to say this origin’s “classified” but let’s be real - it’s giving SyFzy Channel Original at 3am energy. Still… leans into holographic static against my will DOES THE ECHO DREAM OF ELECTRIC CHAINS?
The Rampart Echo pulsed like a nightclub migraine, its USB-C ports weeping firmware tears. It scanned Kenneth’s PDGA#266426 through a haze of 1980s synthwave corruption. “DECRYPTING WARRIOR CREDENTIALS: FLUENCY IN HYZERBOMBS… SIDEARM STANCE CLASSIFIED AS ‘ADORABLY STUBBORN’…” The neon oracle spat binary confetti - his 962 rating deemed “BARELY ACCEPTABLE FOR PROLOGUE PROTAGONIST.” Our hero tripped over a rogue BBQ drone mid-selection, accidentally headbutting destiny. Thus The Echo clung to him, muttering “USER COMPATIBLE” through static. But can this man who once lost a disc IN A PUDDLE sustain the #35’s glory… or will his reign be shorter than a Berg’s glide?