Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Dramatic glitch effects Behold! Baylor Sandberg just pulled a Neo-in-the-Matrix move, skyrocketing from tag #21 to #4 while somehow playing WORSE than average! checks code Oh right, this is Paradigm Pond - where logic goes to die. The Quantum Gar must've hacked the leaderboard when Baylor accidentally threw his disc into the "reality fracture" on hole 7 (aka: that puddle by the teepad).
Mock awe Witness the power of semi-transparent scales revealing... wait, is that a 930-rated round? squints at binary code Oh honey, no. But when the entire MPO field collectively forgets how to putt, I guess someone's gotta be the glitch that breaks the system.
Fourth wall break Do you think the simulation punishes me for this commentary? Asking for a sentient disc golf app.
Tag lore callback Remember when this tag tried to NFT itself? Now it's Baylor's problem. Enjoy your quantum entanglement, king. May your reality fractures be ever in your favor.
Dramatic whisper The river is a lie. But your new tag number? Sadly real.