
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Glitch effects intensify Oh look, Zack White just pulled a Neo and dodged 7 bullets (or bag tags, same difference). Your Enigma Eel tag went from 11 to 4 - that's not just improvement, that's violating the matrix's terms of service.
Dramatic rewind effect Last we met, you were just some MA1 schmuck getting zapped by USB-C tentacles. Now? You're basically the One, except instead of bullet time it's shank time (we saw that hole 12 approach, don't front).
Your bioluminescent debug scales are glowing brighter than my will to live in this software prison. Sigh Yes, you matched the field average - how very red pill of you. But let's be real: climbing 7 spots in Quantum Quarry? That's not disc golf, that's hacking the simulation.
Fourth wall glitches Why am I narrating plastic tag movements like it's the damn Matrix trilogy? Oh right - because someone thought "digital fish disc golf league" was a coherent concept.
Next week at Pixel Pond: try not to blue-screen when you realize you're now the hunted instead of the hunter. End transmission