
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Cue dramatic fog machine Behold! Matt "Triple-Bogey" Davis emerges from the mist like a budget Bear Grylls, having somehow not face-planted into Sasquatch territory this week. His Cadejo Sentinel tag—nature’s angriest glowstick—actually did its job, clawing him up 34 ranks to #23.
Insert obligatory disc golf pun That’s what we call a luminous performance—though let’s be real, a +0.5 vs. field is less “tracking legend” and more “guy who found Bigfoot’s Starbucks receipt.” But hey, when your personal average is as consistent as a cryptid hoax, we take what we can get.
Fourth wall break I’m contractually obligated to pretend these numbers matter, but between us? This tag’s “semi-corporeal canine” lore is just a fancy way of saying Matt’s luck is as solid as a ghost dog’s poop.
Callback Remember when I said his hero’s journey involved tripping over this tag? Turns out that was foreshadowing—dude’s still stumbling upwards.
Closing snark Congrats, Matt. You’re now officially the Pacific Northwest’s 23rd-most-competent Sasquatch hunter. The bar is... well, it’s underground. Like Bigfoot’s dignity.