
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Glitchy water sounds Oh look, our "Chosen One" Aaron Detterer just faceplanted through another firewall. Sigh The Fractal Flounder's scales are recalculating faster than my will to live after watching that +35.5 performance. From 6 to 8? Honey, even Neo didn't fall this hard in the sequels.
Binary bubbles float by Let's check the tapes: "BEHOLD! THE ONE WHO... oh wait, nope, that's just a triple bogey." Your "living cartographer" tag is currently mapping the quickest route to the bottom of the leaderboard. Those bioluminescent edges? Just your dignity flashing warning signs.
Glitch effect Breaking character to ask: Why am I narrating this like it's The Matrix when we all know it's just some dude who forgot how to putt? Resumes narration The Flounder's fractal patterns now show two clear paths: 1) Practice, or 2) Keep blaming "system updates."
Error sound Previous prophecy status: Voided. Next episode: "Quantum Quarry" - where Aaron either bounces back or becomes permanent background code. Place your bets, meatbags.