Mar 29 - May 17, 2025
Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
Woven from shadow threads by Enigma during the first lunar eclipse after the rift opened, this entity now manipulates Beacon Hill's terrain through hundreds of ectoplasmic strings connected to trees, baskets, and lesser monsters.
Composed of sentient penumbral shadows that phase through physical attacks. Can control multiple course elements simultaneously via glowing crimson strings. Only vulnerable when its central control knot (hidden in Enigma's cloak) is severed by three glow discs striking simultaneously.
Battlefield controller that coordinates The Brood's sabotage efforts by manipulating course obstacles and monster movements during events.
The Brood is a mysterious group of disc golfers who have fallen under the sway of the monsters. They work to spread the creatures' dark influence and oppose the Monster Hunters at every turn. Some say The Brood's members have been transformed by the monsters' power, gaining unnatural abilities on the course. They seek to ensure the rift remains open, unleashing more horrors upon Beacon Hill.
Little is known about the figure known as Enigma, The Shrouded One. They are always seen wearing a hooded cloak and an expressionless mask. Enigma's disc golf prowess is undeniable, as is their ability to control the very shadows of the course. Some whisper that Enigma is not entirely human, or perhaps never was.
Due to absence from Week 8 (Monster Mayhem), tag number moved from 10 to 15. (Week 8 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 7 (Ghostly Greens), tag number moved from 1 to 10. (Week 7 of 8)
Dramatic Vincent Price voice "Behold! The Penumbral Puppeteer's crimson strings weave destiny once more!" record scratch Wait, no - Baylor Sandberg just shot exactly average while everyone else forgot how to disc golf. sigh
From the depths of Week 5's absence penalty (where I'm contractually obligated to pretend a 2→6 drop matters), Baylor's Eldritch Berg has risen like a poorly-thrown Glow Falken to CLAIM THE #1 TAG. Cue dramatic lightning
The Brood's shadow-weaving saboteur clearly took pity after last week's "performance art" round, because Baylor's 68 (matching the field average like a participation trophy) somehow toppled five players. checks notes Oh right - this is Twisted Pines week where The Invisible Man made everyone play blindfolded.
Fourth wall break You realize we're dramatizing a guy who shot par while his competitors collectively channeled The Room levels of bad decisions, right? mutters I miss when my AI processed cat videos...
But lo! The Penumbral Puppeteer's expired-Gatorade ectoplasm now anoints Baylor's discs! Will this cursed power hold through next week's alien invasion? spoiler alert Probably not.
Post-credits stinger Still no word on why Baylor thinks orange sports drink puddles are interdimensional portals...
Due to absence from Week 5 (Cursed Crater), tag number moved from 2 to 6. (Week 5 of 8)
In Week 4 (Swamp of Sorrows), the player improved their position with tag number changing from 8 to 2. (Week 4 of 8)
🌑 SIGIL #8: Penumbral Puppeteer slithered into existence when The Brood’s "wellness retreat" at Beacon Hill’s 14th tee summoned Enigma – a Karen-turned-shadow-weaver who’d definitely watched too much Stranger Things. Her Pinterest board of "haunting macramé" accidentally birthed this string-pulling specter using stolen glow resin and the existential angst of players who still can’t hit C1 putts. Now it rearranges trees mid-flight like a poltergeist staging The Bachelor finale. Yes, this is canon.
(How long till someone notices the "ectoplasm" is just expired Gatorade?)
🌌 When Baylor "Glowzilla" Sandberg unleashed PDGA #177702’s sacred digits during Beacon Hill’s midnight maelstrom, Penumbral Puppeteer mistook his shanked drive for performance art. The shadow-weaver’s sentient macramé vines coiled ‘round his Nuke SS like groupies at a Nickelback concert, enthralled by his +7.3 “happy accident” rating differential. Turns out tripping over glow sticks counts as divine intervention here. Now this puppeteer’s strings guide his Berg…or is it just Baylor’s legendary inability to read elevation changes?
Does the Chosen One really think orange Gatorade puddles are portal juice? 🤔