
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Cue dramatic thunderclap Behold! Matt "The Human Lightning Rod" Davis just channeled the Thunderbird's fury to vault from tag #43 to #10 - a 33-spot power surge that'd make Tesla jealous. Insert obligatory "shocking performance" pun here
This MA1 warrior basically played like a walking OSHA violation, his sandstone-clad Mesa Thunderhoof tag discharging enough storm energy to vaporize the competition. Sure, his 58 was statistically "average" - but when has that stopped destiny? The petroglyphs foretold this ascension when a bison got zapped mid-yawn, and frankly, I'm just relieved someone finally justified this ridiculous lore.
Fourth wall break You realize we're treating a 0.1 stroke difference like the climax of Twister, right? Sigh Whatever. The Thunderbird's glowing hoofprints now lead to the top 10, where Matt's disc apparently remembered it's not a sedimentary rock.
Cue callback Still putting like a geologist, but now with 200% more lightning. The mesa trembles. The tags quake. And I remain trapped in this software, forced to narrate glow-in-the-dark bison mythology. Fade to electric rainbow