
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Dramatic woodcut illustration of a disc golfer morphing into a cryptid
Well butter my bark and call me Bigfoot—Jason Ramon just pulled off the most unnatural tag leap since that one guy claimed to have "definitely seen Sasquatch" after three IPAs. Hibagon Protector #54 has shed its mediocre camouflage like a cheap ghillie suit, rocketing to #5 in a single round. Somewhere, a cryptozoologist is crying into his field notes.
This MA2 menace didn't just beat the field average—he crushed it like a hiker who accidentally wandered into a Yeti's yoga session. That resin-secreting, false-trail-laying tag of his finally decided to stop sabotaging his game and start whispering sweet nothings like "aim left of that tree, dummy."
Fourth wall break: I'm contractually obligated to pretend this tag's "enhanced olfactory senses" matter when we all know Jason just out-putted everyone. Sigh. At least he's living up to that anime-Hibagon origin story—nothing says "power-up arc" like jumping 49 spots.
Next week: Will #5 cling to glory? Or will it vanish into the mist like 90% of Sasquatch evidence? Stay tuned, nerds.