
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Rusty metal creaks under the weight of anticlimax
Behold, wastelanders—Clinton "Junkpile Jackal" Atwater's earth-shattering one-spot climb from #4 to #3! Cue sarcastic fireworks made from old spark plugs.
Dramatic whisper Playing exactly field average while slightly outscrapping his personal average (-2.8? Someone found a marginally less-bent soup can to putt with). This isn't a victory march—it's a participation trophy in the Apocalypse Ace finale.
Fourth wall break: I'm contractually obligated to pretend this matters more than the 37th reboot of Mad Max.
Cue callback: Remember his "nuclear resurgence" from #18? Peaked like a Geiger counter in a microwave—now we're measuring progress in millimeters.
Tosses mic into lukewarm puddle of motor oil Thus concludes Afterburn: where legends are forged... and then gently sanded down by mediocrity. The wasteland yawns.