
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Dramatic gothic organ music Behold! The Mezuzah Manticore's parchment-lion body unfurls as Jake Robb claws his way from tag #28 to #9 - a 19-spot leap worthy of this arcane guardian's triple-rowed fangs. Eye roll Yes folks, we're treating a 61 (exactly field average) like it's the Siege of Vienna.
The Manticore's shifting mystic faces all smirk in unison as Jake - MA4's most "consistently adequate" player - finally gives its venomous tail something to glow about. Sigh I'm contractually obligated to pretend this matters.
Pop culture reference? Fine. This Cinderella story has less magic than Shrek 2's deleted scenes. But hey, at least he didn't three-putt like last week when the Manticore's Aramaic judgment made him cry.
Fourth wall break Why am I narrating bag tags like they're Talmudic prophecies? Flips table
The Manticore purrs its approval...for now. Mazel tov, Jake. Don't blow it before episode 6's "Forest's Foreboding." Dramatic thunder