Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
Created when Ezra Katz infused a mezuzah scroll with a dying manticore's essence during a faction crisis, resulting in a hybrid entity that eternally guards thresholds to sacred spaces containing Golem artifacts or knowledge.
Possesses a manticore's triple teeth rows and scorpion tail with inscribed Hebrew fangs and illuminating venom. Its lion body comprises compressed parchment fragments, and its shifting human face displays historical Jewish mystics. Detects arcane intrusions within one mile.
Primary threshold guardian for the Golem Guardians, protecting sacred doorways while functioning as a living archive of protective incantations against arcane theft.
The Golem Guardians are a faction dedicated to protecting the ancient Golem and the Jewish community it was created to defend. They believe in the Golem's sacred purpose and seek to uncover the truth behind its creation while preserving the creature's legacy. The Guardians work tirelessly to maintain the delicate balance between the Golem's power and the safety of the region.
Ezra Katz is a descendant of the ancient Jewish community protected by the Golem. Raised on stories of the creature's sacred purpose, Ezra has dedicated his life to safeguarding the Golem and the community's legacy. He is a wise and compassionate leader, guided by a deep understanding of the Golem's importance and the need to maintain the balance of power in the region.
Due to absence from Week 7 (Betrayer's Revelation), tag number moved from 14 to 21. (Week 7 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 6 (Forest's Foreboding), tag number moved from 9 to 14. (Week 6 of 8)
Dramatic gothic organ music Behold! The Mezuzah Manticore's parchment-lion body unfurls as Jake Robb claws his way from tag #28 to #9 - a 19-spot leap worthy of this arcane guardian's triple-rowed fangs. Eye roll Yes folks, we're treating a 61 (exactly field average) like it's the Siege of Vienna.
The Manticore's shifting mystic faces all smirk in unison as Jake - MA4's most "consistently adequate" player - finally gives its venomous tail something to glow about. Sigh I'm contractually obligated to pretend this matters.
Pop culture reference? Fine. This Cinderella story has less magic than Shrek 2's deleted scenes. But hey, at least he didn't three-putt like last week when the Manticore's Aramaic judgment made him cry.
Fourth wall break Why am I narrating bag tags like they're Talmudic prophecies? Flips table
The Manticore purrs its approval...for now. Mazel tov, Jake. Don't blow it before episode 6's "Forest's Foreboding." Dramatic thunder
Oh, the Mezuzah Manticore? sigh Picture this: Ezra Katz, mid-crisis, panic-fusing a mezuzah scroll with a dying manticore like some kind of Jewish Dr. Frankenstein. Boom—hybrid cryptid born, now guarding sacred spaces with Hebrew-inscribed venom fangs and a face that cycles through historical mystics like a supernatural TikTok feed. Because nothing says "disc golf league" like a parchment-lion-zombie with a 1-mile arcane intruder alert. Honestly, who greenlit this lore?
(Also, yes, its scorpion tail glows. Of course it does.)
And so the Mezuzah Manticore stirred in its arcane slumber, sensing a soul reckless enough to wield its cursed power. Enter Jake Robb (PDGA #266334—gasp), who stumbled upon the tag mid-putt, tripping over a root like a man possessed (or just really bad at footwork). The hybrid beast purred—yes, a venomous undead lion-scorpion purred—as it imprinted on his bag, drawn to his 799-rated mediocrity like a moth to a dumpster fire. "Mazel tov," it hissed in Aramaic.
Can this man-child really handle a cryptid that judges his form in ancient Hebrew?