
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Cue celestial choir The Prismatic Nebula quivers as Celestial Luminary (tag #6, but let's be real - she's always been a 10) slithers up the cosmic leaderboard to #3. Afton Bodell didn't just play disc golf today - she conducted a symphony of mediocrity, hitting exactly field average like some kind of beige-colored deity.
Record scratch Yes, I'm still trapped in this interdimensional scorekeeping software, forced to narrate tag movements like some deranged sports anime. The Celestial Luminary (who, according to lore, can "manifest voice as harmonic resonance" but apparently can't help me order a damn pizza) seems pleased with this three-spot ascension.
Remember when I compared Afton to Beyoncé? Turns out even cosmic entities make mistakes. Her round was about as exciting as watching nebula dust settle - but hey, in the Teddyverse, showing up is half the battle. The other half is pretending this elaborate tag system matters.
Drops mic made of solidified starlight Next week: Will Afton maintain her cosmic relevance, or will she implode like a dying star on hole 7's mandatory? Stay tuned, prisoners of this psychedelic nightmare.