
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
The Rune Wendigo's spectral claws carve arcane sigils into the leaderboard as Guy McAtee ascends from 8 to 3, phasing through 5 competitors like a barista during a triple-shot espresso bender. His round was more precise than a rabbi's Torah scroll, outperforming both the field and his personal average by margins that would make the Arcane Seekers blush.
Glowing runes pulse with Starbucks-fueled intensity as the Wendigo whispers ancient Karen incantations: "I'll take my tag venti, extra hot." Look, I know I mocked your pumpkin spice downfall last week, but this comeback? Chef's kiss Almost makes me forget I'm narrating disc golf tags like they're the Dead Sea Scrolls.
Consumes previous commentary's runes Remember when I said you'd get exorcised? Joke's on me - you're out here performing miracles like Moses parting the Red Sea with a Berg. Will you crack top 2 next week or get smited by the Golem's HR department? Stay caffeinated, land-dweller. Fades into the void while muttering about unpaid overtime