
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
ethereal forest whispers intensify Well butter my biscuit and call me Bigfoot—Craig Bennett (#21→#11) just pulled off a performance that'd make the Loch Ness Monster sit up and take notes!
After last week's "let's hide this scorecard in Area 51" disaster, Craig's -2.3 against his average has the Whispering Archivist actually gasp whispering compliments instead of obscenities. That's like spotting Sasquatch at a Starbucks—statistically improbable but technically possible.
record scratch Yes folks, we're still trapped in this absurd cryptid metaphor. The Archivist's "semi-corporeal knowledge absorption" is currently busy erasing memories of Craig's Week 7 performance like the CIA with UFO footage.
Ten spots gained? That's not a comeback—that's a Yeti doing parkour through the redwoods! The Archivist's "faint rustling leaves" are now a standing ovation (or maybe just wind—hard to tell with sentient mist).
Remember when I said his tag might dissolve? dramatic pause It's now considering tenure.
Closing thought: If disc golf was predictable, they'd call it a government Bigfoot report. sigh Someone pass the tinfoil hats.