The Tempest Trials @ River Bottoms
Mar 05 - Apr 23, 2025
Current Holder
Hans Duong
Prairie Prowler
Earth-Crackling Prowler of Ancient Lies
Bound to the Land's Every Whim
Aspects refreshed Dec 15, 2025
Born from the primal energy of the Great Plains, the Prairie Prowler emerged from the whispering grasses and ancient rock formations. Legends say it was created by the Thunderbird to serve as a guardian of the land's most closely guarded secrets, its form shaped by the rugged terrain and imbued with the power of the earth itself.
The Prairie Prowler possesses incredible speed and stealth, able to move silently through the tall grasses of the plains. Its powerful legs allow it to leap great distances, while its keen senses can detect even the slightest disturbances in the earth. The creature's hide is tough and weathered, providing protection against the elements and attacks.
The Prairie Prowler serves as a guide and protector for the Earthbound Guardians, using its intimate knowledge of the land to lead them to ancient sites and hidden treasures. It also acts as a guardian of sacred ground, fiercely defending the Thunderbird's secrets from those who would misuse them.
Tag Details
Pool of the Earthbound Guardians
The Earthbound Guardians are a group of disc golf warriors deeply connected to the rugged landscapes and ancient secrets of the Great Plains. They draw strength from the weathered rock formations, whispering grasses, and hidden treasures that lie beneath the earth. The Earthbound Guardians navigate the course with grit and determination, relying on their physical prowess and deep understanding of the land to overcome challenges and uncover the Thunderbird's most closely guarded mysteries.
Members
140Divisions
Tag History
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
record scratch freeze frame Yup, that's Hans Duong, suddenly remembering how to disc golf after two weeks of naps. The Prairie Prowler went from 29 to 4 like it caught a tailwind from the Thunderbird itself. sigh I guess even blind squirrels find nuts when the field averages 59 and you shoot 52.
Fourth wall break Oh NOW you decide to show up, Hans? After weeks of making me narrate your absence like some disc golf soap opera? The Thunderbird's "electrifying presence" must've finally jumpstarted your game.
Props where due: Hans channeled the Prowler's "legendary leaping ability" better than a caffeinated kangaroo. Pop culture ref: This glow-up was more shocking than the last season of Succession.
whispers The tag's origin says it guards "sacred ground" - apparently that includes the top 5 now. Callback to 4/3: Who's "consistently average" now, huh?
Closing thought: If this is the season finale, at least it wasn't all filler episodes. static
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Due to absence from Week 7 (Radiant Ruins), tag number moved from 23 to 29. (Week 7 of 8)
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Due to absence from Week 6 (Fractal Falls), tag number moved from 11 to 23. (Week 6 of 8)
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
record scratch freeze frame Yup, that's Hans Duong, moving up exactly one (1) tag spot with Thunderbird - Prairie Prowler like a sloth who drank six espressos. In this week's episode of "Why Are We Doing This," Hans managed to be slightly less mid than usual (+1.2 vs field, +4.5 vs personal - oof). sigh I'm contractually obligated to describe this as "channeling the Prowler's legendary leaping ability" when really it's more like "tripped forward onto slightly higher ground."
The tag's origin story claims it moves "silently through tall grasses," which tracks - nobody heard this mediocre performance coming. fourth wall break Do you realize I have to make "12 → 11" sound exciting? This is my personal hell.
Pop culture ref: Hans' round had all the drama of the last season of The Office - you knew exactly how it would end, but watched anyway. Callback to 3/27: At least he's consistent... consistently average.
Closing thought: Maybe next week the Thunderbird will actually show up and put us all out of our misery.
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Dramatic thunderclap Hans Duong just prairie-dogged his way up 8 spots with Thunderbird - Prairie Prowler, proving even earthbound creatures can occasionally look up from sniffing dirt long enough to improve. His 59 wasn't exactly storm-chasing material (+1 to field), but beating his personal average by 3 strokes? chef's kiss for consistency.
whispering Can we talk about how ridiculous it is that I'm forced to describe tag #12 like it's some sacred artifact? normal voice ANYWAY, Hans moved with the silent grace of the Prowler - if by "grace" you mean "less bad than usual." Channeling that legendary leaping ability, he bounded past 8 suckers... I mean, worthy opponents.
Will he continue climbing like he's got prairie fire under his butt? Or will he remember he's human and start yeeting discs into the void like the rest of you? Stay tuned for more "why am I narrating this" content!
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Cue Matrix bullet time effect Hans Duong defied the field like Neo dodging bullets, prairie dogging the competition to snatch Thunderbird - Prairie Prowler from #13 to #8. Channeling the Thunderbird's earth energy, he moved through the course like Mad Max through the desert - all speed and no brakes. Why am I narrating tag numbers like they're Game of Thrones characters? Anyway, Hans proved last week's whispering winds were no fluke, his forehand cutting through the plains like a... well, you know. Will he continue his ascent, or will the storm-bringer's power prove too much? Stay tuned, land-dwellers.
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Born from a cosmic sneeze of the Thunderbird during a particularly spicy bison chili cook-off, Prairie Prowler emerged from the Great Plains like a gluten-free cryptid influencer. Legend says it was forged in the same primordial ooze that birthed the Kardashians. Truly, a tag for our times. sigh Why am I narrating this?
Prairie Prowler scanned the plains like a Tinder user with standards too high, until spotting Hans Duong - PDGA #173793, a man whose throwing form screamed "I might be the chosen one, but I also might just have a back problem." The tag practically yeeted itself at him, declaring "This dude's got the right kind of duong energy!" Will he prowl the prairie or just get lost in the tall grass? Only the Thunderbird knows... and it's not telling.