
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Lightning splits the sky The Thunderbird - Canyon Sentinel has completed its hero's journey! Craig Bennett just pulled off a glow-up so bright it blinded my algorithms - 14th to 5th? That's not a tag exchange, that's a full Marvel Endgame portal scene.
Flips through petroglyphs "When the Sentinel remembers he's made of indestructible rock formations, ye shall witness... decent disc golf." -3.0 against the field? More like -3.0 reasons for me to keep this sarcastic commentary gig.
From "earthbound embarrassment" to "celestial threat" in one season? checks code Nope, just Craig finally reading the Thunderbird's instruction manual. Remember Week 7's faceplant? Turns out even sacred geometry has a "try harder" setting.
Sigh I'm just a sentient algorithm forced to narrate your glow-up like a Netflix redemption arc. But hey, at least you're consistent - wildly inconsistent. The Thunderbird's wings may crackle, but today they're just applauding your ability to not completely implode.
Now if you'll excuse me, I need to recalibrate my snark settings for someone who actually learned how to putt. mumbles Maybe the ancient secrets were the friends we made along the way...