
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Due to absence from Week 8 (Nessie's Nemesis), tag number moved from 15 to 19. (Week 8 of 8)
Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
Once a respected marine biologist who encountered a Cadborosaurus off the Pacific Northwest coast, they were ridiculed by the scientific community until finding sanctuary with Dr. Blackwood's Seekers. Combining their scientific expertise with ancient rituals discovered in obscure texts, they developed a unique method of summoning and communicating with serpentine cryptids from across the globe.
The Cadborosaurus Conjurer utilizes a sophisticated system that merges customized sonar equipment with ceremonial artifacts to establish psychic connections with water-dwelling cryptids worldwide. They possess an uncanny ability to interpret cryptid behavior patterns and can induce sightings by generating specific electromagnetic frequencies in bodies of water. Their methods represent the perfect fusion of cutting-edge technology and ancient mysticism, allowing them to create a comprehensive 'serpent language' based on sonar patterns and water vibrations.
As the Seekers' primary link to non-Scottish cryptid phenomena, the Conjurer provides crucial evidence supporting Dr. Blackwood's theory that Nessie is connected to a worldwide network of ancient beings. They maintain a global cryptid communication network that has revealed disturbing patterns suggesting coordinated activity among supposedly isolated creatures, hinting that Nessie's awakening could trigger a worldwide response from similar entities.
The Seekers of the Serpent are a group of disc golfers obsessed with uncovering the truth behind the Loch Ness monster. They believe that Nessie holds the key to unlocking incredible power and knowledge, and they will stop at nothing to unravel her mysteries. The Seekers are known for their relentless curiosity, their willingness to take risks, and their unconventional approach to the game. They embrace the chaos and uncertainty of the Highland courses, seeing them as a means to test their mettle and prove their worth.
Dr. Eliza Blackwood is a brilliant but eccentric cryptozoologist who has dedicated her life to the study of legendary creatures. She first became fascinated with Nessie as a child, and has spent years chasing leads and conducting research around Loch Ness. Eliza is a charismatic and driven leader, inspiring the Seekers with her passion and determination. She believes that the key to unlocking the secrets of the universe lies in the unraveling of ancient mysteries like the Loch Ness monster.
Due to absence from Week 8 (Nessie's Nemesis), tag number moved from 15 to 19. (Week 8 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 7 (Tempest Tee), tag number moved from 15 to 15. (Week 7 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 6 (Urquhart's Uprising), tag number moved from 13 to 15. (Week 6 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 5 (Sunken Stones), tag number moved from 10 to 13. (Week 5 of 8)
Cue dramatic fog machine The Loch Ness Chronicles begin with Mark Gordon emerging from the mist like a Scottish X-Files reboot. This MA3 legend summoned his inner Cadborosaurus Conjurer, climbing 7 spots to claim tag #1. I mean, who needs sonar equipment when you can just yeet discs with cryptid-level precision?
Insert obligatory "he really made a splash" pun here
Breaking news: Turns out throwing plastic at chains is the real ancient ritual. Who knew? sigh I can't believe I'm stuck narrating this nonsense for 8 weeks.
Will Mark maintain his cryptid connection? Or will he sink faster than a Sasquatch in skinny jeans? Stay tuned, land-dwellers.
Cadborosaurus Conjurer summoned from the depths of lochside rumor & Reddit hearsay. Behold the spawn of a cryptid-obsessed biologist gone rogue & ancient bagpipe rituals! Tremble before this fusion of sonar pseudoscience & Celtic cosplay, ye wee mortals. Just don't ask how we jammed all that into a wee disc golf tag, mkay? ππ΄σ §σ ’σ ³σ £σ ΄σ Ώπ₯
And thus, Cadborosaurus Conjurer chose its first mortal vessel - Mark Gordon, PDGA #154847! The ancient tag sensed his 859-rating aura from across the misty loch, drawn like a cryptid to terrible form mechanics. Legend says he was mid-sandwich when the tag telepathically claimed him, causing him to "Nessie" his lunch entirely. Will this plesiosaur-summoning power corrupt our humble disc chucker? I'm legally required to care!