
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Cue dramatic loch mist And so begins our tale of Jarrett Smith and the Caoránach Keeper, who apparently decided to test the waters - literally. sigh Yes, I'm trapped narrating this nonsense. Our hero started at #6 but sank faster than a Scottish stone skipping contest, landing at #9. insert Titanic flute meme
While the Keeper's alchemical powers could transmute water into... whatever, it couldn't transmute Jarrett's score into anything impressive. dramatic splash But hey, at least he's consistent - like a bad Netflix reboot.
Fourth wall break Why am I forced to make this sound exciting? It's WEEK ONE. These tags haven't even been properly christened with beer stains yet.
Will our Keeper rise from the depths next week? Or continue to be more lost than a tourist at a haggis buffet? Stay tuned, I guess. eye roll