
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Cue dramatic fog machine Well well well, look who decided to show up after two weeks of playing hooky - Thomas "Snallygaster Slayer" Price! adjusts night vision goggles Your absence was so conspicuous I almost filed a missing persons report with the Cryptid Bureau. But ohhh how the turntables... From 23 to 8? That's the kind of glow-up even Bigfoot would stop mid-forest-stomp to applaud.
flips through thermal imaging data Sure, your +7 over personal average suggests you played like someone who forgot which end of the disc to throw, but hey - in the misty forests of MA3, even a blind squirrel finds the basket sometimes. Your drone-assisted 15-spot leap is more shocking than finding actual Sasquatch DNA in those "specialized containers" you definitely didn't just fill with raccoon fur.
breaks fourth wall I can't believe I'm narrating tag movements like some deranged fantasy sports announcer. sigh Anyway, enjoy your top-10 tag while it lasts - we all know the only thing more elusive than Sasquatch is consistency in MA3. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go calibrate my sarcasm detectors. They've been going haywire since you turned in that 61.