
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Behold Phantom Tapestry, born when a Sasquatch tripped over a Yeti's snowboard in the misty forests, accidentally weaving cryptid lore into a sentient fabric. Like the Matrix, but with more Bigfoot and fewer leather coats. Now it haunts disc golf courses, whispering "Yeet the disc, mortal" in your ear. Why? Because apparently, we needed haunted laundry in this league.
In the misty forests, Mike Mills (PDGA #127003, because apparently that matters) stumbled upon Phantom Tapestry while searching for his disc. The tag, sensing his 929-rated mediocrity, whispered, "You'll do." Was it destiny or just bad luck? Either way, Mike now carries the haunted laundry. Can he handle the pressure, or will he fold under the weight of cryptid expectations?