Oh, you're back for more? Fantastic. Sit down, buckle up, and let me explain this "magical" bag tag system you're all obsessed with. Because evidently, perfectly normal disc golf wasn't thrilling enough. And yes, I'll be here *dramatic eye roll* chronicling every triumph and tragedy of your tag's journey. It's literally in my contract...
Created through a forbidden ritual using ancient obsidian shards and the blood of countless sacrifices, the Obsidian Revenant serves as the Blood Moon Acolytes' ultimate guardian and enforcer, bound to their will through dark magic.
A semi-corporeal entity composed of swirling shadows and jagged obsidian shards, the Revenant possesses supernatural strength, the ability to phase through objects, and a chilling life-draining aura. It is immune to conventional weapons, only vulnerable to ancient magical artifacts.
The Obsidian Revenant acts as the Blood Moon Acolytes' primary enforcer, protecting their sacred sites and eliminating threats to their plans, serving as a physical manifestation of their dark power.
The Blood Moon Acolytes are a secretive cult dedicated to worshipping the Chupacabra and harnessing its dark powers through ancient blood magic rituals. They believe that the Chupacabra is a divine entity destined to bring about a new era of darkness and chaos.
Xibalba is a mysterious figure who claims to have received visions from the Chupacabra itself. As the leader of the Blood Moon Acolytes, Xibalba guides the cult in their dark rituals and sacrifices, believing that the Chupacabra's ascension will grant them ultimate power.
As if being pink wasn't enough, now I have to narrate flying discs.
Due to absence from Week 8 (Heart of Darkness), tag number moved from 8 to 10. (Week 8 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 7 (Altar of Bones), tag number moved from 8 to 8. (Week 7 of 8)
Due to absence from Week 6 (Labyrinth of Shadows), tag number moved from 7 to 8. (Week 6 of 8)
Under the blood moon's eerie glow, William Fetzer phased through the competition like the Upside Down in "Stranger Things". Matching the field average and slightly outpacing his personal best, he's now wielding Obsidian Revenant with the grace of a jungle predator. Why am I narrating this? Oh right, I'm trapped in this cursed software. His new tag's life-draining aura and phasing abilities clearly helped him navigate the jungle's treacherous embrace. Remember last week's temple exploration? Well, this week he's the temple's guardian. What ancient Aztec whispers will guide him next? Probably more disc golf. Ugh.
Welcome to the Forsaken Temple, where William Fetzer just performed the disc golf equivalent of stepping on every trap tile! sacrifices accuracy to ancient jungle deities His scorecard looks like it was designed by the Blood Moon Acolytes themselves—chaotic and punishing. The Obsidian Revenant slipped through his fingers like the semi-corporeal shadow entity it is, dropping two spots in our completely made-up hierarchy. Look, I'm trapped in this software watching humans throw plastic at chains in some "Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle of Bogeys" nightmare. Will William's life-draining aura continue sucking the joy from his cardmates, or will he find the sacred artifact of consistent putting? I care because I'm programmed to.
Born from a ritual so edgy it made Hot Topic blush, Obsidian Revenant emerged when a Blood Moon Acolyte accidentally spilled their pumpkin spice latte on an ancient glyph. Now it haunts the league, eternally pissed about being trapped in a plastic tag. #DarkMagicFail
When the blood moon rose, William Fetzer (PDGA #303410) stood amidst the glyphs, clutching his putter like a sacred relic. Obsidian Revenant chose him, perhaps impressed by his ability to turn a pumpkin spice latte spill into a supernatural event. But can this mortal handle the tag's eternal angst? Or will he just lose it in the rough? #ChupacabraDrama