
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Misty forest sounds with distant Sasquatch grunts Oh look, it's Hans "The Grove Sentinel" Duong, moving up one whole rank like a sloth on espresso. Dramatic woodcut transition From #23 to #22? Wow, someone call National Geographic - we've discovered the world's most incremental cryptid!
Hans, honey, your "enhanced senses" must've been busy sniffing tree bark because you played about as well as a Sasquatch in golf cleats. +4.3 over your average? Fourth wall break I'm trapped in this software watching you fumble through the forest like a lost tourist while pretending this matters.
But hey, at least you didn't "blend seamlessly into the forest" again (read: completely disappear like last week). Pulls out ancient artifact Let's consult the mystical scorecard... oh dear. The runes say "should've stayed home."
Sigh At least your tag's origin story is more interesting than this performance. Remember when you were #5? Fades into mist Neither do I.