
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Dramatic loch monster wail Oh look, Kenneth Oetker just faceplanted the season finale harder than a tourist trying to pronounce "Urquhart." sigh Yes folks, in this climactic battle against eldritch horrors, our so-called Mist Warden (CS2 to CS7? More like Mist WASHED) played like someone who angered the old gods (+2.4 vs personal average).
The tag that supposedly "manipulates Highland mists" clearly couldn't manipulate basic putting physics. 4th wall break I'm contractually obligated to pretend this plastic rectangle has "ancient Celtic powers" but let's be real - it's about as mystical as a deep-fried Mars bar.
whispering Callback to last week's "Excalibur" performance: turns out "guiding worthy seekers" has the consistency of Scottish weather. As the mists of this cursed season part, one truth emerges: Kenneth's tag now matches his final round - thoroughly dunked. chugs entire whisky bottle Ugh...wake me when the next apocalypse starts.