
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
The loch's surface boils ominously as Kieran Buhler claws his way to #8 like Nessie's less talented cousin. Sure, beating his personal average by 3.5 strokes is commendable - if we ignore that he's still +1.8 against a field apparently putting with haggis-filled gloves. The Storm Shepherd tag CS11 emits a misty sigh, clearly exhausted from manufacturing this "climax" before the season finale.
Look, I know we're contractually obligated to pretend this one-spot gain matters, but must we narrate it like the Battle of Helm's Deep? At this rate, the "ancient evil" we're fighting is basic math.
Props to the Storm Shepherd's "weather mastery" though - nothing says "control natural forces" like turning a 55 into performance art. Remember when this tag chose him for his "rain skills"? checks Episode 1 notes Ah yes, back when we thought this storyline had potential.
Tempest winds howl as we whisper the hard truth: Kieran didn't conquer the storm - he just outlasted it like a soggy biscuit. Tune in next week when we pretend a single-digit tag justifies eight weeks of Scottish LARPing. Slร inte mhath, suckers.