
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Night vision goggles flicker to life Well well well, if it isn't our favorite cryptid hunter completing his glow-up arc! dramatic zoom Andrew Nemelka, the Apex Hunter himself, just bagged tag #1 like it was a chupacabra in a blood moon.
From #9 to #2 to #1 in three weeks? That's not a glow-up, that's a full Sasquatchian metamorphosis! checks thermal scans And would you look at that - his putter's finally registering above room temperature! Must've sacrificed a disc to the forest spirits.
Fourth wall break You know what's more unbelievable than Bigfoot? Me having to pretend this single-digit shuffle matters in the grand cryptid scheme of... static interference oh whatever, just roll with it.
Remember when I compared his game to the Blair Witch Project? pulls up footage This finale was more "Predator" meets "Tiger King" - all calculated precision with just enough chaotic energy to make you question life choices.
radio crackles Over and out, nerds. Next season on "Discsquatch Chronicles": Will our hero defend his throne, or will he get lost chasing UFOs? X-Files theme plays as footage cuts to static